Rafael Román Martel

This is your governor Jon Corzine just dropping by to say hello. I’m always glad to see so much celebration going on in this blog. As you know, Wimbledon is a fine English tradition, but it’s only flaw is that it has not been taxed in New Jersey yet. That’s why I want to take a moment to announce my new NJ-Wimbledon tax, which would benefit both tennis and non-tennis fans. You pay for the ball that goes in and the ball that goes out. Aces require a special 30% increase in the Wimbledon tax. Aces specifically made by Roger Federer, in honor of his insurmountable talent, require a 40% increase. I have also advised my good friend, Governor Sonny Crockett of Florida, to follow this initiative, strongly encouraging him to combine it with the Beach Tax—where residents have to pay for the tide that comes in and the tide that comes out. This environmental measure will serve to protect Florida’s dwindling manatee population.

Now that I am here, I would also like to congratulate RafaelMartel.com for delivering that glorious speech in Havana, as well as for his 100,000 hits. In honor of these 100,000 hits, I plan to implement the “100,000 Internet Tax, which would extent throughout the east coast of the United States. My friend Governor Sonny Crockett has already approved the measure. The tax would raise revenues to pay for a new team of professional tax-raisers that will study any possibility to raise taxes within the next year.